i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
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