you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
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