I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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