yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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