He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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