love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Randomize
