ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
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