Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
