I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
