I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize