Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
