Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
