Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
