Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
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