Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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