ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
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