he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Randomize
