My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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