Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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