i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
