Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
