The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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