So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
