At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
