Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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