gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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