so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
