dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Can I color on your dick again?
The Most Iconic Met Gala Looks The Kardashian’s Have Rocked
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.