yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
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Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
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After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?