well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver