I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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