i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Found your dick twin last night
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
