your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
