That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
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i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
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I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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