is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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