we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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