I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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