I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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