I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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