i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
