I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
