At least make sure they are 18
Why
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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