He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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