Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
