My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize