hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
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