I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
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