I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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