I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Operation Purity has been aborted
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
