How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize