hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
