Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
