Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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