Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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