The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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