How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
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Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
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Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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