i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
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