I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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